When I Grow Up

National Alzheimer's Disease Month

2008-11-02T12:03:00.000-05:00

Oh, crap. I forgot what I was going to write.

November Reign

2008-11-01T23:01:00.003-04:00

Over supper tonight, we were discussing the merits of blogging versus Facebook. Actually, Marjorie was droning on about how no one is any fun anymore and how no one blogs anymore because we have all turned to Facebook. And then we remembered that it was he that introduced us to the fabulous world of FB. And so that was the end of that conversation.

I also discovered that six children make a LOT of mess. Fortunately it was contained, for the most part, to the new playroom. Putting the toys upstairs was a stroke of genius on my part, I must admit. Nevertheless, it was a LOT of mess. Enough to convince me not to have four more children.

So...it's November. November is my least favourite month. It is cold and grey and depressing and sucktastic. A great month to get a prescription for anti-depressants. Or to move south. Hmmmm...

I really have nothing more to say...I just wanted to be able to say that I was the last person to blog. Sometimes its not about quality...just quantity...and timing...

The Inspirational Properties of Cow Feces

2008-06-21T08:50:00.002-04:00

Well, it's been well over a year since I blogged. I have to admit, I fell prisoner to Facebook. And although it has it's merits, I feel something is missing. I discovered this whilst reading Nacho's "Ode to Cow Dung". I miss our freedom of meaningless (and sometimes meaningful) expression, our witty banter, our comraderie. You just don't get that on Facebook. Sure you get the "news", but you don't get the "who-ness" of people. I've discovered something else this week, too -- I think way too freakin' much.

So, I don't really have a topic yet...I'm just breaking the skin to start the blood flowing, so to speak.

Well, maybe I do have a topic, albeit a depressing one. It seems that all my friends have decided to embark on various adventures throughout the summer and leave me home alone. Boohoo, poor me. Laura & Dan are going to Europe and Newfoundland, Marjorie is going to camp in various parts of the country, Jerri has moved away...Okay, so maybe not all of my friends are gone...just most of the significant ones (don't be offended if you are significant and you're not leaving...I can't afford to lose any more friends at this point!). My only request is souveniers...Dave-Ramsey-style. Like a coaster from a real English pub, the pants you peed in at John Mayer (I just want proof, you can have your pants back...I might even wash them for you)...nothing expensive, just something special so I know you didn't forget about me. I'm really gonna miss you guys, but I hope you all have great vacations, make lots of memories, and find something you've been looking for.

Love you, guys!

Blessings

2007-04-22T15:35:00.000-04:00

God is so awesome! If you have lived through this past week, with the 3 days of driving wind and rain, followed by 3 days of beautiful, hot sunshine, and have not stood amazed in His presence, well, I just don't even know how that could be possible... What awesome timing for a Saturday night service! Even though I had my moments this week, for the most part, my heart has been almost bursting with praise, awe, love for our Creator. Even though God is omnipresent, through both space and time, I love it when He just flaunts Himself, when He slaps us in the side of the head with his presence. Jevohah Shammah!

Speaking of God's awesome creations...

O come, let us worship and bow down, let us kneel before the Lord our Maker...Declare His glory among the nations, His marvelous works among all the peoples. For great is the Lord and greatly to be praised...Psalm 95:6, 96:3-4.

To Hell With the Devil

2007-04-13T13:28:00.002-04:00

I've come to realize something over the past couple of months. Satan SUCKS and I HATE HIM. But if I didn't hate him so much, I would actually feel sorry for him. It must be such a sad, miserable existance always striving to be God and never, ever matching up. Never even coming close. Continuous failure. We beat ourselves up for things that we do that we ought not to do, for our failures and shortcomings. And then we go to God, full of repentance, and He takes the crap and flings it into oblivion (...You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea...Micah 7:19), and He sees us as perfect, His holy vessels. I wonder what He sees when He looks at Satan.

I have always pegged Satan as being evil and awful and the antithesis of God. I have only just begun to realize, though, how much Satan wants to be like God. And how truly unoriginal he is. I've heard it said that Satan is smart...sometimes I think that we give him way too much credit. It seems to me that everything he does is just a perversion of something God has already done. Or that he takes what God gives and tries to twist and destroy it. For example, James tells us that "every good gift and every perfect (free, large, full) gift is from above; it comes down from the Father of all that gives light... (James 1:17). Satan hates that. So he tries to ruin it however he can. In Daniel 7:25, we are told that the Antichrist (Satan's evil "son", so-to-speak) "...shall wear out the saints of the Most High..." And there are days, aren't there? Sometimes more and worse than others. But we have to try to keep this all in perspective. This is Satan's job. "The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy..." (John 10:10a) BUT THANKS BE TO GOD (Can we ever conceivably give Him enough praise for this?!?), WHO GIVES US THE VICTORY, MAKING US CONQUERORS, THROUGH OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST (1 Corinthians 15:57). Our Lord Jesus Christ, that came that we "...may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance, to the full, till it overflows." (John 10:10b).

So, when we feel worn out, we need to summon the energy to praise God and remember:

Satan sucks. He can try all he wants, but he is just a big loser wannabe. In the end, he will be the one who is worn out. Worn out by the very saints he is trying to run ragged. LO-O-O-SER.
God rocks. He gives us great gifts, perfect gifts. They belong to us, and Satan can't have them. Because our side wins. By a freakin' landslide. We don't take ground quietly, we conquer it. Enjoying our life means consciously throwing that victory party every day we are given. WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS, MY FRIEND.

In You, O Lord, do I put my trust and confidently take refuge; let me never be put to shame or confusion! Deliver me in Your righteousness and cause me to escape; bow down Your ear to me and save me! Be to me a rock of refuge in which to dwell, and a sheltering stronghold to which I may continually resort, which You have appointed to save me, for You are my Rock and my Fortress. Rescue me, O my God, out of the hand of the wicked, out of the grasp of the unrighteous and ruthless man. For You are my hope, O Lord God, You are my trust from my youth and the source of my confidence...My mouth shall be filled with Your praise and with Your honor all the day...I will hope continually, and will praise You yet more and more. My mouth shall tell of Your righteous acts and of Your deeds of salvation all the day, for their number is more than I know. I will come in the strength and with the mighty acts of the Lord God; I will mention and praise your righteousness, even Yours alone...Yes, even when I am old and gray-headed, O God, forsake me not, but keep me alive until I have declared Your mighty strength to this generation, and Your might and power to all that are to come. Your righteousness also, O God, is very high, reaching to the heavens, You Who have done great things; O GOD, WHO IS LIKE YOU, OR WHO IS YOUR EQUAL? You have shown us all troubles great and sore will quicken us again and will bring us up again from the depths of the earth...My lips shall shout for joy when I sing praises to You, and my inner being, which You have redeemed. (from Psalm 71)

O God, this is my prayer...from my heart to Yours.

The Sap is Running

2007-03-09T08:29:00.000-05:00

So I am now officially 32 years old. I still feel about 17, though. To see "32", I think, "Well, I guess it's time to grow up and be responsible now." I keep thinking that one day I will grow up on the inside and stop feeling overwhelmed by adulthood. It hasn't happened yet. I still feel like I'm playing house, and I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing...

I had a wonderful birthday. I took Buckley away to the vet Saturday morning and got to see a few old friends, so that was nice. And then, of course, Roger threw his annual "surprise" birthday party for me. I would have to rate this as the best one yet...and not just the best one Roger has organized, but the best one I can remember. Last year on my birthday, I was sitting on a curb outside a gas station in West Virginia, enjoying the warm sunshine, on my way to Alabama. I am so grateful to God for giving me that opportunity to be changed and stretched in so many ways. And if it wasn't for that trip, I wouldn't have had such a great birthday this year, because I wouldn't have had all the wonderful friends that I do now. Having lived most of my life feeling like I was on the outside, feeling like I finally belong is the best gift of all. So, thanks guys, I love you...you're the best.

I love puppies....XOXoxxOOxoX

2007-02-28T14:17:00.000-05:00

Just a brief post to introduce the newest member of our family and also to remind anyone who cares (and you all should) that my birthday is rapidly approaching...three more days, guys. MARCH 3RD. Mark it down. After all, you do have that pathetic excuse of a celebration from last year to make up for...oh wait, there was no celebration...and no, the thought doesn't count...especially when you don't even follow through...you know who you are...

Buckley

Day 100

2007-02-10T14:50:00.000-05:00

Since September, my class has been counting down to the 100th Day of School. This momentous occasion falls on Tuesday, February 13th (barring any more snow days or random acts of God). So, in an attempt to both honor this prestigious holiday and drag myself out of the murky pit I have chosen to dwell in for the last month or so...here is my Day 100 Project.

100 Things That Make Me Smile

(not in any particular order of importance)

SIGHTS

brilliant sunrises

orange

snowflakes

lightning

old photos

vapour on the water

blue flags

"Naked Dance"

deep red

Denny Duquette

black & white photography

Christmas tree lights

a clear night with a full moon

ladybugs

weathered shingles

Orion

lights on the rink at night

Saul's red hair

Cohen's toothless grin

fresh snow on trees

SOUNDS

birds chirping when I wake up

Dashboard

Emmalina

someone laughing at a joke I told

the wind in the trees

the bus at 2:30 pm

Saul's Cheech voice

Neil Diamond

the sound of someone mowing their lawn

Brown Eyed Girl

"I love you, Mama"

waves crashing on the beach

silence

Cohen & Saul laughing

interesting words

Christmas music

saxophones

Cohen's stories

crickets

Coronation Street theme song

SMELLS

bread baking

vanilla

it smells like snow

garlic bread

chocolate chip cookies

Christmas trees

freshly mown grass

lavendar

after the rain

soapy clean shower skin

smoke from a wood stove

coffee

leather

orange peels

salt air

fall leaves

fresh laundry

cow manure

pizza

baby powder

TASTES

Chinese food

black cherries

lobster chowder

spinach dip

almond anything

barbequed hot dogs

turkey with gravy and cranberry sauce

Chicken Bones

Hershey's Cherry Kisses

homemade ice cream

warm homemade bread

Peanut Butter Fudge Crunch

strawberries

coffee

Peps

smoked fish dinner

Greco donairs

deep fried ice cream

poutine

anything curry

TOUCHES

a newborn baby's head

a hot bubble bath

back rubs

suede

puppy ears

slobber kisses

my hair being played with

a smooth rock

hot tea on a sore throat

a good hug

heavy quilts

the sun on my face

bonfire burn

flannel sheets

rose petals

a great mattress

soft pillows

really hot showers with pressure

hot sand

worn denim

So I Blahgged...Joyness

2007-02-07T11:24:00.000-05:00

It was not a rumour. I really was sick. For three whole days. Longer than it took me to recover from giving birth both times combined. I hate being sick. What a wonderful chance to lay in bed for 72 hours and think about all the things that I should be doing and will now have to catch up on doing. Actually, it wasn't that bad. It did give me a chance to catch up on most of Season 2 of Grey's Anatomy.

I still hate winter. I hate it even more now that it is cold and windy. And having the flu just made me hate winter even more. I don't think hell is hot. I think hell is winter for eternity sans Grey's Anatomy Season 1 or 2.

So I haven't blogged because I am grouchy. And I didn't want to infect the rest of you with my grouchiness. But since someone decided to infect me with their virus, I feel better about passing my growlies on to you. Enjoy.

Actually, I have been very busy. Since coming back to school in January, I have had 3 full day tele-conference meetings (which I barely lived through, BORING), a doctor's appointment, a blood test, a dentist appointment for my daughter (Who, at 4 years old, has lost 2 teeth and has 6 more loose ones. Did you know that, Kimmy?), a funeral, and the 3-day flu. It is time for some fun. Seriously.

One bright spot in my life is that PP and I have tickets (including Hot Showers) for Creation 07. I can hardly wait. A five day road trip with Kimmy and Tassy and Nacho...perhaps that will make up for winter. Perhaps.

Blah

2007-01-20T14:14:00.000-05:00

I am blogging long enough to say that I am alive. The sum total of all my wit and energy have been jointly sucked out by Seasonal Affective Disorder and the Snot Monster. Winter sucks. The end.

What Colour is the Sky in Your Country?

2006-11-18T07:04:00.000-05:00

Well, I have been neglecting my duty of reporting holiday of the day to all my faithful readers. Let's face it, I have just been neglecting my blogging duty period. And there are no good holidays today, so in anticipation of Create Your Own Country Day (November 22), I am officially announcing the
first ever contest on my blog.

If you haven't guessed it, you have to create your own country. Include a name and as many details as you feel necessary. Deadline for entries is November 21 (Tuesday). Top prize may or may not be your own country.

Good luck.
stephanie

Screw You

2006-11-11T22:55:00.000-05:00

At the risk of becoming the unofficial site of the Nacho Colossus fan club, I have to tell this story. Faithful followers of my blog will recall a time not so long ago (but longer ago than my last post) that my son [and his nose] had an unfortunate encounter with some pebbles. Here I was, worried that this incident would somehow impact upon his future development as a well-rounded citizen, and now I am more concerned than ever...

Some time ago it seems, about 30 years or so, a young mother (we'll call her Mrs. Perry), was tucking her young son (we'll call him Boy Nacho) into bed. While adjusting his cape and fluffing his pillow, Mrs. Perry noticed a faint glistening glint in Boy Nacho's nasal cavity. "Mr. Perry, come quickly!" Mrs. Perry cried. Mr. Perry came running to his wife's distraught side. He, too, spied a metallic glimmer deep in the recesses of Kirk's, I mean Boy Nacho's wee snout. Upon further examination, the Perrys discovered that the glistening glimmering glint was a screw nail that the young fellow had twisted into his cranium. And unfortunately, that is where my story ends. Because unfortunately, that is when Lynette stopped telling it. And so, the fate of the screw nail, not unlike the fate of Kirk's neighbour's cat, is as of yet unknown.

The moral of this story is...be careful when judging people who you think might have a screw loose...it may actually be quite tightly wedged into their sinus cavity.

I'm a Slogger, Baby

2006-10-15T14:55:00.000-04:00

My name is Not Neves....and I am a slogger.

For those of you who are dying to celebrate something, I have discovered that October has something for almost all of my friends. If you are my friend and I do not list a holiday for you, SUCK IT UP, PRINCESS. I can say that because I am personally celebrating National Sarcastic Month. I'll speak life to you in November.

For Yurr, October is Chevy Truck Month.
For PP, October 12th was International Moment of Frustration Scream Day (I don't care if you celebrate late.)
For Tim, October 14th was Dessert Day. (The day you can have your cake and eat it, too?!?)
For Scottie, October 3rd was Virus Appreciation Day. (For everything, give thanks.)
For Robyn, October 2nd was Tickle Me Elmo Launch Anniversary Day (1997).

I also discovered upon reading today's bulletin that October was Pastor Appreciation Month. There is nothing like leaving your congregation for five weeks to ensure you get proper appreciation upon your return. Great timing, Nacho. This one's for you.

Why Kirk Is the Best Pastor Ever
Kirk is the best pastor ever because he is real. He desires God's truth in his own life and for the lives of everyone around him. He steps over fear and intimidation and invites the Spirit to move through him and throughout our church body. He craves more of God and actively seeks to be closer to Him.

Kirk is the best pastor ever because he is flawed. He (though highly intelligent...a genius some might say...okay, he might say) is not above humbling himself to apologize to someone whom he may have offended or to admit that he doesn't always have the answers. He even, on occasion, has a really bad hair day (hehe).

Kirk is the best pastor ever because he inspires. He doesn't just present the Word of God, he makes it come alive and challenges us with it. You may leave a service feeling convicted, but never condemned.

Kirk is the best pastor ever because he has an awesome sense of humour. Okay, maybe this isn't a qualification for Pastor of the Year Award, but it certainly helps put some things in perspective. We are meant to enjoy this life God has given us, and let's face it, we all love to laugh (or snort, from time to time).

While I love and appreciate all these things and more about Kirk, I realize that he is only the best pastor ever because God has placed an anointing on his life. So thanks, God, for blessing us with our pastor, our friend, our travelling companion (on highways both literal and spiritual). May we show our appreciation to and for him, not just this month, but throughout the year.

A Rolling Stone Gathers No...Snot!?!

2006-09-30T21:31:00.000-04:00

So I go to pick up my children at my mother's after work on Thursday. Cohen is playing on the lawn, but Saul is nowhere to be found. And why is that, you may be wondering. Well, that is because he woke up from his nap crying, "There's a rock in my nose, Grampie!" And indeed, there was. Stuck up there pretty good, too. So Grampie, being a nurse, whips out his mini forceps and makes an attempt at extraction. A valiant but vain attempt after which he calls Roger and asks him to meet them at the hospital with Saul's medicare card. Which is where they were when I arrived at mom's.

Normally, this is were the mildy-interesting-but-not-too-unual-for-a-two-and-a-half-year-old-boy story would end. However, this story is not normal. For it seems, when the doctor extracted the large-for-a-nose stone from Saul's nostril, the tale took an interesting twist. [Picture this in slow motion, perhaps with Chevy Chase as the father.] The stone comes out, and with a flick of the doctor's wrist, flys up in the air, does a somersault, and plunges into the open, screaming mouth of my son, who promptly stops crying and swallows it. True story.

And it would have been funny enough had it ended there. But it did not. No, no, the saga continued at home where Saul, standing in the middle of the living room, watching Dora, begins to sneeze. Achoo! Plink. Achoo! Plink. Yes, you guessed it, more rocks. So now, the burning question is: Are there any more? Will they come out on their own or is Saul Abali destined to live the rest of his life with literal rocks in his head? I thought a logical solution would be to make him sneeze again. And how better to make someone sneeze than by having them snort pepper up their nose. Roger disagreed and said this was only an old wives' tale. My father (the nurse) upon consultation, agreed with my pepper plan. Roger disagreed once more and said the pepper would burn Saul's nose. (Because having 3 or more rocks lodged in your nostril doesn't cause any discomfort whatsoever.) So, I sacrificed my own well-being (what won't a mother do for her young) and snuffed some pepper up my own nose before trying it out on Saul. The result: I sneezed for the rest of the evening and Saul went happily to bed that night without sneezing at all and with whatever more he had shoved into his nasal cavity still there.

And the moral of the story is: What goes in, must come out...although not always from the same place.

One Hit Wonders

2006-09-23T10:12:00.000-04:00

Because I have gotten behind in my blogging, I am now going ahead. One Hit Wonders Day is actually September 25, but there were no interesting holidays for today or tomorrow. And I am feeling largely uninspired and lacking in the wit department. I have included one-hit wonders from 1975 (the year I was born, on MARCH 3), so some of you might not remember some of them, and some of you might remember all of them.

75 Chevy Van - Sammy Johns
76 Play That Funky Music - Wild Cherry
77 Black Betty - Ram Jam
78 Hot Child in the City - Nick Gilder
79 Video Killed the Radio Star - The Buggles (I remember the Mini-Pops version of this when I was in Grade 4.)
80 Funkytown - Lipps, Inc.
81 Believe It or Not - Joey Scarbury (From "The Greatest American Hero", which nobody else except Kirk seems to remember.)
82 Mickey - Toni Basil/Nobody - Sylvia (I love "Nobody". It is my earliest memory of singing along to the radio. Which was, of course, before the Tune-in-a-Bucket supper incident.)
83 Come On, Eileen - Dexy's Midnight Runners
84 We're Not Gonna Take It - Twisted Sister
85 Axl F - Harold Faltermeyer
86 The Future's So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades - Timbuk 3
87 She's Like the Wind - Patrick Swayze & Wendy Fraser (Whatever.)
88 Beds Are Burning - Midnight Oil (Beulah & the Bridgeo brothers)
89 When I'm With You - Sheriff
90 Groove is in the Heart - Deee-Lite (The most annoying song/video ever.)
91 Walking in Memphis - Mark Cohn
92 I'm Too Sexy - Right Said Fred/Achy Breaky Heart - Billy Ray Cyrus (Who is incredibly sexy...if you're into mullets and line dancing men in too-tight jeans. Geck.)
93 What Is Love - Haddaway
94 Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm - Crash Test Dummies
95 Breakfast at Tiffany's - Deep Blue Something (One of my top 10 favourite songs of all time.)
96 Macarena - Los Del Rio
97 The Freshman - the Verve Pipe (Not to be confused with....)
98 Bittersweet Symphony - the Verve
99 Mambo No. 5 - Lou Bega
00 Who Let the Dogs Out - The Baha Men (Okay. So Groove Is In the Hearrrrtttt has competition.)
01 Never Had a Dream Come True - S Club 7
02 Heaven - DJ Sammy (Be careful if you download this one. You may get the most frightening song I've ever heard. "My tummy hurts". Creepy.)
03 Stacey's Mom - Fountains of Wayne
04 Collide - Howie Day
05 You're Beautiful - James Blunt

In closing, I would just like to say...How can I dance if the earth is turning?

Everybody's Learnin' How

2006-09-12T16:51:00.000-04:00

Don't know how many of you received this picture, but I thought it was post worthy. It seems Kirk finally found his unitard (too bad it was the capeless model). I thought you had to have some upper body strength for surfing, but apparently not that much. Also seems to be a good sport for people who have a tendancy to lose their sandals. Surf's Up, Dude! Watch out for sharks, though. (If you're too weak to punch one, I would suggest TAI Bo.)

PS I apologize for the picture quality...I didn't take it.

Alright Already

2006-09-11T22:35:00.000-04:00

I haven't written a new post for almost a month. Shame on me. I have not had anything to say. I have not wanted to say anything. I have been busy. I have excuses and reasons, some of them good, some of them not so much. But here's the thing. I've still got nothing. But because some of you keep pestering me for a new post, I have made one. Enjoy.

A New (?) Way to Worship

2006-08-18T08:26:00.000-04:00

Funny how things all seem to come together...I was doing devotions today and stumbled across one called "How Real is Your Worship?" I've had a lot of conversations with people in the last while about how sometimes we just don't feel like it. And we all know it's not about feelings. Blah blah. Since God gave us feelings, I can hardly believe that feelings don't factor in somehow. Maybe the mystery is in how to get those feelings. Maybe we need to communicate our desires for those feelings to God, so He can show us that He alone can give them to us. Maybe He wants to use our blahs as a way to draw us closer. Just a thought.

And I must say, I am proud of our body (not my own personal body, I'm still working on that). I have seen tremendous growth in our church since I started going there less than four years ago. I don't spend every moment with every person in our church, but for the most part, I believe that we are coming before God with a genuine desire to meet with Him and present our praises to Him. We are learning there are many different ways to do this, through music (with or without the band), flags, dance, lifting holy hands, etc. I think God is pleased with our progress. But before we become too full of ourselves...

Isaiah 1:13-17 (the Message) says:
"Quit your worship charades. I can't stand your trivial religious games: monthly conferences, weekly Sabbaths, special meetings—meetings, meetings, meetings—I can't stand one more! Meetings for this, meetings for that. I hate them! You've worn me out! I'm sick of your religion, religion, religion, while you go right on sinning. When you put on your next prayer-performance, I'll be looking the other way. No matter how long or loud or often you pray, I'll not be listening. And do you know why? Because you've been tearing people to pieces, and your hands are bloody. Go home and wash up. Clean up your act. Sweep your lives clean of your evildoings so I don't have to look at them any longer. Say no to wrong. Learn to do good. Work for justice. Help the down-and-out. Stand up for the homeless. Go to bat for the defenseless..."

Before you get offended (it's the Bait of Satan), I don't think we are playing charades when we worship. I think we are moving away from religion toward relationship. I think God is listening because He is answering our prayers. I just think it is interesting what God says He wants from His people. 1 Samuel 15:22 says "...Does the Lord delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the voice of the Lord? To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams..." Kirk has been talking a lot about action (especially in Sunday night service, you should go). Love is action. Faith is action. Obeying is action. Kirk is a great speaker and very, um, creative, but I have to say, I think he is taking his material from the Bible. I'm pretty sure that God said it first. Like in the verses above from Isaiah, He says what He wants is action.

Psalm 92:1-3 says "It is a good and delightful thing to give thanks to the Lord, to sing praises [with musical accompaniment] to Your name, O Most High, to show forth Your loving-kindness in the morning and Your faithfulness by night, with an instrument of ten strings and with the lute, with a solemn sound upon the lyre." Songs, instruments, etc. this is what we (or maybe just me) usually think of as worship. The devotion I read today suggested that the instrument of ten strings could possibly be referring to our instruments: two ears, two eyes, two hands, two feet, a mouth and and heart. (And there are a lot of verses to suggest these are our instruments.) It then asked "How musical are you today in worship?" Well, as someone who is not very musical at all, I found this very encouraging. I have been reading a lot about servanthood (in Conspiracy of Kindness, you should read it), and attempting to put it into action, but never considered this an act of worship.

You always hear people saying that everyone worships in their own way.
I think I know now what mine may be.

Yeah. I got nothing.

2006-08-11T08:24:00.000-04:00

Once again, I have been slack. One must admit, the will to blog has diminished considerably since Nacho and Emo have been away. Timmy, by his own admission, has tried to take up the slack, but failed miserably. It seems he doesn't understand that to be a successful blogger, you must not only read the blogs, but comment on them. He is starting to come around to see the benefits of blogging, however, and that is a step in the proper direction.

So, I have missed some more fantastic holidays. I don't know who is responsible for coming up with these celebrations, but I think the gas fumes from the mower have finally got to them. Judge for yourself:

August 5 - National Failures Day/Take a Walk on the Moon Day
Hence the phrase, "Prepare for the worst, hope for the best" (Matthew J. Maxwell).

August 6 - National Fresh Breath Day
If only you could remember where you put your toothbrush last August 6th.

August 7 - Sea Serpent Day
Isn't Loch Ness a lake? I vote to rename this day: Legless Lake Lizard Day. I have been mowing as well.

August 8 - Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbour's Porch Night
Small town prank turns urban legend/holiday? This would be a good outreach project I think. Who doesn't love waking up to a fresh zucchini on their doorstep? Next Monday night, guys? Better a meal of vegetables where there is love, then a fattened calf with hatred. Prov. 15:17

August 9 - Dance a Polka Day
This may or may not be a certain Weird Al fan's birthday. If so, today's holiday is entirely appropriate. If not, it is Betty Boop's birthday, and I'm pretty sure she looks like a girl who digs accordians.

August 10 - Spoil Your Dog Day
So I did. I said "Hey, Duke". And then I went into the house and closed the door.

August 11 - Dog Days End
Just when we were getting close.

Tomorrow I am off to shoot another wedding. This will be my 3rd of the summer, 2 more to go. It really is a priviledge to be part of each couple's celebration and to get to know new people. I still get nervous about ruining precious memories, but God has been awesome. Whenever I get a great shot, I know that it is because He has positioned the sun & clouds in the right spot or put a great idea in my head (or someone else's). Here
are a few shots of Orlando & Amanda's day.

So Long Sweet Summer

2006-08-04T07:30:00.000-04:00

Yeah, to borrow a phrase from Pepto, I am a slogger. I have neglected my blogging duties. I will attempt to rectify this situation immediately.

But before I do that, I would just like to say that Chris Stephens commented on my last post. Thank you very much.

So, here's a catch-up and some brief, meaningful comments on the holidays I have missed...

July
26- Bert's Birthday (Sesame Street).
Bert & Ernie were my favorite Sesame Street characters (I like Ernie better, but you can't have one without the other). BTW, Bert is NOT gay. Neither is Jack Black.
27- Take Your Houseplants for a Walk Day
I am sucktastic at growing plants. The only walk they go for is the walk to the garbage can. I am, it seems, proficient at growing certain banned substances in my garden. Whoops, maybe not. I accept your apologies, Mr. Bulletproof Vest.
28- First Fingerprint Taken
Not today, buddy. You can call off your helicopter and put the inkpad back in your pocket.
29- Chicken Wings Day
But alas, my hot [sauce] cohort has flown the coop.
30- National Cheesecake Day
Time to praise my husband...he makes the best cheesecakes in the universe.
31- Harry Potter's Birthday
Or it would be Harry's birthday...if he were REAL and not just a FICTIONAL character.

August
1- Chopsticks Song Birthday (1877)
I'll tell you what I like about Chinese people...as long as we're on the subject. They're really hanging in there with those chopsticks. Hahahahaha...
2- National Back To School Month
Only 26 more days of summer for me....
3- International Forgiveness Day
Well, no pressure here. But now you know. You have 364 more days to work up to it.

And today is National Chocolate Chip Day. Cohen had a bit of a rough day yesterday, so I told her we could make cookies today. Here is a replay of that conversation:

Mommy: Maybe we can make cookies tomorrow.
Cohen: But Mommy, you don't know how to make cookies.
Mommy: I do so know how to make cookies. (Note: Do not argue with a 4-year old. You will lose.)
Cohen: But you always burn them.
Mommy: Sobbing uncontrollably.

Out of the mouths of babes.

Birthday of the Birthday Cake

2006-07-25T17:48:00.000-04:00

FYI: The Greeks were allegedly the first ones to put candles on a cake celebrating someone's birth in 55 BC. I wonder if their cakes smelled as bad as their salads...

So here's the deal. I complained and groaned and moaned and grumbled and whined and nagged and griped and lamented about the fact that no one remembered my birthday (MARCH 3). To make it worse, the people that did remember and were going to "surprise" me with a cake didn't even bother to get one. I haven't "forgotten". I haven't "stopped going on about it". I haven't "let it go". I am "holding a grudge". I am "slightly bitter". I would never be "that insensitive".

Whatever.

Apparently I forgot PP's birthday. It was last Thursday. I "remembered" Monday. I am sorry. I am a bad friend. It's okay though. It seems that all of my "friends" decided to go on a white water rafting expedition to celebrate Kimmy's birth. Without me. I heard that there was cake and candles and singing. Without me. I get nothing. No card. No cake. No presents. She gets a 3-day planned outing/celebration with all her nearest and dearest (except me). I am nothing. Apparently.

Someday I hope you all grow up and realize that it's not all about you.

Or her.

Happy Birthday, Princess Pretty.
May your reign be long and may you never fall off a turret and land in the moat.
Love ya!

Somedays You Just Feel Mean

2006-07-22T23:01:00.000-04:00

I hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people.

When you're ten years old, and a car drives by and splashes a puddle of water all over you, it's hard to decide if you should go to school like that or try to go home and change and probably be late. So while he was trying to decide, I drove by and splashed him again.

I think my new thing will be to try to be a real happy guy. I'll just walk around being real happy until some jerk says something stupid to me.

Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the person's house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of its head with a note that says "You." After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.

I remember how the other kids used to say that old Mister Swenson was the meanest man in town. But I said I thought he was nice, that he just didn't know how to show it. The meanest man in town, I said, was the mean old guy who lived in the big white house. "THAT'S MISTER SWENSON," they said. Oh, my mistake.

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

Laurie got offended that I used the word "puke." But to me, that's what her dinner tasted like.

If life deals you lemons, why not go kill someone with the lemons (maybe by shoving them down his throat)?

Ah...now I feel better.

For more Jack Handey visit www.alexras.info/edeep.php?action=view_all

Stick Your Tongue Out Day

2006-07-19T21:14:00.000-04:00

Interesting facts about tongues:

A chameleon's tongue is twice the length of its body.
A giraffe can clean its ears with its 21-inch tongue.
A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
A pig's tongue contains 15 000 taste buds. The human tongue has 9000 taste buds.
The anteater's tongue can stretch to the height of a two-year old child.
The archerfish uses its tongue like a squirt gun to shoot down its prey.
The gecko swipes its tongue back and forth like windshield wipers to clean its eyes.
A blue whale's tongue is the same size and weight as a full-grown African elephant.
The emperor moth starts life with a large tongue, but the time it has reached maturity, its tongue has shrunk away to nothing. Unable to feed, the moth eventually dies of starvation.

Worth waiting for, wasn't it?

PP (and Not Neves') Big Adventure

2006-07-07T19:08:00.000-04:00

Click, Chopsticks, Covers and Jack Black
(aka 3Cs and Ant)

Let me explain. The Desperate Housewives decided that they would escape to the big city for a night of...of...well, I'm not sure which adjective to use here. Let's just say we saw a puddle and we jumped in it. The fun began when I left my purse on the ferry. Fortunately, PP's in-laws retrieved it for me and left it with Morris the wharf dude. Onward and upward. We then met Kirk and his siblings at the theatre where we enjoyed Click...a comedical drama about a flap-slapping man, his duck-humping dog(s) and a remote control. I laughed, I cried, I snorted, I sobbed uncontrollably whilst PP made insensitive comments. If it hadn't been for the passionate (Eskimo) kiss she shared with me before the show, I may have been highly insulted.

After the show, Scott and Finn (aka Gill) met us in the parking lot, whereupon we decided to grab a bite at Boston Pizza. (I was still hungry, even after the $7 "pretzel dog" from the movie. Nummy.) During supper, I learned a number of things: Scott suffers from Catagelophobia (fear of being ridiculed, especially by waitresses) but not from Sinophobia (fear of the Chinese or Chinese culture). Gillian can never be invited to wings night because she is highly intolerant of things that may or may not be hot, including jalapeno peppers and girls in revealing shirts. Cactus Cut Potatoes are delicious.

Next, we raced (Literally. PP won.) over to the Garden Street Irving (not the one by Harbour Station) where Nacho, Scott & Fishy piled into the PPmobile and we all headed over to Elwood's for the Three Season Ant concert, a truly one-of-a-kind experience. Front row seats to an awesome Christian band...$5. Being recognized by Jack Black....scrumtralescent. Hanging out at a bar with or without your pastor and best buds...priceless.

After the concert we all headed to Beulah land for the night. Swimmy, PP and I enjoyed a restful night at the Sr. Rayner's cottage, where I singlehandedly broke both a blind and the toilet. Then it was back to Grand Manan, but not before a stop at the mall (FYI: The mall opens at 10 a.m.) to buy film. We left the mall at roughly 10:26 and still made the 11 o'clock ferry home. This was because:
a) PP drives like Ricky Bobby running from Tom Cruise;
b) we were being rewarded for our valiant 4.85 minute effort to speak life into each other;
c) the boat was late and there was minimal tourist traffic, or
d) that's what's so amazing about grace...we receive gifts we don't deserve.

Since all my fellow bloggers are off to the land of corn and whine (?), I shan't be posting for a while. 'Til then, feel free to celebrate:
July 8- Be a Kid Again Day
July 9- Barn Day (Scott may or may not have been born in one 20 years ago today)
July 10- Don't Step on a Bee Day
July 11- National Cheer Up the Lonely Day
July 12- Cow Appreciation Day
July 13- International Puzzle Day (birthday of Erno Rubik 1944, inventor of Rubik's Cube)
July 14- Corkboard Birthday 1891 (aka Stick-It Day)
July 15- Be a Dork Day/National Tapioca Pudding Day

TTFN

Dog Days of Summer

2006-07-03T16:09:00.000-04:00

Today begins the Dog Days of Summer. I'm not really sure what that means, but to one dog I know (Daisy) it means being tied to a lawnchair on a hot beach. (It could also mean being "romanced" by a big black lab, but that is another story for another day.)

I have a couple of praise notes for today: the sunshine and friends. If you have suffered through my last few posts (or skipped them entirely and commented nonetheless)...well, you know what I mean. I am so blessed to be surrounded by people who make me laugh, encourage me, correct me, teach me. I want to be just like you when I (don't) grow up! By that I mean that each of you encourage me to be a little bit more myself and are helping me to realize that's okay...

PP - You help me confess my secret sins and encourage my dependence on the only One with the answers to the tough questions. You encourage me by making me realize that I am not the only one that has things in my life that I'm less than proud of and show me that doesn't make me a freak, it makes me normal.

Scott - You have made me look at the things I say and do in relation to how they are going to make someone else feel. And even though I know that you aren't usually listening to me, you always make me feel like you are. (And you taught me my new favourite word...it used to be tepid, so that just goes to show...)

Scott's Truck - You have taught me that even if I look dirty on the outside, on the inside I'm still one sweet piece of machinery. And it's what's on the inside that really matters.

Nacho Colossus - You make me want to be less like Martha (take off my An Album Cover) and let loose. And at the very least, to encourage that love of life in my own children. (A word of advice -- even if you never grow up, there does come a time when it is inappropriate to run around naked on a public beach.)

Cassidy/Emmalina - You just make me snort. You make me feel young and alive and funny. Don't ever let anyone or anything steal your joy.

Mike, Donnie & Jodi (Boys & Babe of the Booth) - You have encouraged me but letting me share my faith. You remind me that the opinions of others pale in comparision to the truth that is in your heart. (BTW, Jodo, I still hate you.)

To the rest of you...I love you, too, but I am trying to cut down on the length of my posts (blame You Know Who). Stay tuned for the rest of the story...

PS. Today is also Eat Beans Day. Knock Yurrself out!

Hump Day

2006-07-02T07:34:00.000-04:00

Well, today marks the halfway mark of 2006. I'm sitting here trying to think of what I have accomplished so far this year. Instead, what is running through my mind is all the things I still haven't done. Apparently I'm a "the glass is half empty" kind of person...which I am sure is a total shock and surprise to everyone who knows me.

This week is also "Take Charge of Change Week". I really need to change my attitude towards life. I am soooo negative. I like to think of myself as honest, though. It doesn't sound as horrible and it makes me feel better. The truth of the matter is, however, I am just negative and nasty most of the time.

I could blame it on my genes...my whole family (both sides) tend to look for the "but" in every situation. What a beautiful sunny day we had yesterday, BUT it rained for a week before that and it's not giving much better for the week ahead. I get to have two months off for summer vacation, BUT I don't really because I have three rooms I want to clean out, a kitchen to wallpaper and no time to do it because I have two small children.

When I went to Alabama, I thought I would come back and be completely grateful for every little thing I had. I was wrong. It frightens me to think that if I don't change my heart and start to be more appreciative for what God has given me, He is going to start taking things away. At the risk of being negative, I am sucktastic at speaking life.

In Phillipians 4:8, Paul tells the church that they are to think on, weigh, take account of and fix their minds on whatever is true, worthy of reverence, honourable, appropriate, just, pure, lovely and loveable, kind and pleasant and compassionate and anything that is virtuous, excellent and worthy of praise.

Or in the negative (sorry, I'm not quite there yet), don't let your mind be ruled by lies, disrespect, things that are not worthy of praise & honour, are inappropriate, unfair, unclean, unlovely and unloveable, unkind, unpleasant, unfeeling and anything that is unrighteous, less than exceptional and undeserving of our admiration as followers of Christ. Easier said than done. Change is hard because it involves things that don't come easily to us in the flesh...faith, surrender of control, patience. Fruits of the Spirit.

...which presents an interesting Catch 22. In order to be filled with the Spirit, we have to empty ourselves of the flesh. In order to empty ourselves of self, we need to be filled with the Holy Spirit. Now I'm more confused than ever.

GODSTOP: My husband. I don't appreciate him enough, but right now I am sitting in bed, watching Coronation Street (finally!), updating my blog, drinking coffee he made for me, while he is downstairs cooking breakfast for the kids and keeping them entertained. Men of Galilee, why do you stand here looking into the sky? (Acts 1:11) Sometimes it's right in front of our face.

If you have actually read this whole monologue and made it to the end...thanks. It seems I will be allowed to have my sense of humour back only after I work through some things. My apologies.

Happy Woman Month

2006-06-30T10:08:00.000-04:00

Well, it seems June is Happy Woman Month. Which essentially means that I only have today left to be happy...maybe I can manage that.

As women (especially us Desperate Housewives), we place a lot of responsibility on our significant others to make us happy. After extensive research (okay, I googled it), I have discovered that to make a woman happy, a man only needs to be:

A friend, a companion, a lover, a brother, a father, a master (?), a chef, an electrician, a carpenter, a plumber, a mechanic, a decorator, a psychologist, a pest exterminator, a psychiatrist, a healer, a good listener, an organizer, very clean, sympathetic, athletic, warm, attentive, intelligent, romantic, funny, creative, tender, strong, understanding, tolerant, prudent, ambitious, capable, courageous, determined, true, dependable, passionate...

All the while without forgetting to give her compliments regularly, love shopping, be honest, be very rich, not stress her out and not look at other girls. At the same time, he must also give her lots of attention (but expect little for himself), lots of time (especially time for herself), lots of space (never worrying about where she goes), lots of money (without asking what it is for). And he must NEVER, EVER forget birthdays, anniversaries or arrangements she makes.

I may be every woman, but I think I'd need several men to fill that mandate. We ARE needy and demanding creatures aren't we? No wonder there is a whole month set aside for our happiness...

From my intensive investigative efforts I also learned how to make a man happy....just leave him alone.

You will show me the path of life, in Your presence is fullness of JOY, at Your right hand there are pleasures forevermore....Psalm 16:11

Let It Go Day

2006-06-28T08:14:00.000-04:00

Sometimes the "coincidences" in life just amaze me.

I got thinking about why I am feeling so sucktastically not filled with life and I came up with another fabulous syllogism:

I don't read my Bible = I choose to ignore what God wants to say to me
I choose to ignore what God wants to say to me = I feel sucktastic

Therefore....
I don't read my Bible = I feel sucktastic

I haven't read my Bible in about a week and a half, and I have been feeling progressively more sucktastic as the days go by (that and the unending fog). So, after consultation with PP and Yurr and also the screaming reminder that today is Let It GO Day, I decided maybe I should spend some time in prayer and reading the Bible. Not so coincidentally, God decided today would be a great day to slap me in the side of the head with His Word.

Whenever anyone else says they "feel" a certain way about something/someone and they don't know how to stop, my advice is always "ask God to change your heart". This advice was based on experience, but today I found scripture to back it up. It was like God was saying, "Hello, thank you for sharing this with everyone else on the planet, how about applying it to yourself?" He wasn't really saying it gently, either. No one can tell me God isn't sarcastic when He needs to be. Anyway, I was reading in Acts about Simon the sorceror and how he tried to buy the ability to give people the gift of the Holy Spirit. While our sins were not even remotely similar, Peter's response to him (8:22-23) really hit me: So repent of this depravity and wickedness of yours and pray to the Lord that, if possible, this contriving thought and purpose of your heart may be removed and disregarded and forgiven you. For I see that you are in the gall of bitterness and in a bond forged by iniquity to fetter souls..." Harsh. Sometimes the truth is as sucktastic as the lies.

Then I was reading about Saul/Paul and how God asked Ananias to go pray over him. Ananias didn't really want to go...he knew Saul's reputation and really questioned God's decision to send him to bless such a jerk. But God said to him, "Go, for this man is a chosen instrument of mine...(9:15)" (I bet Ananias was thinking "Yeah, he's an instrument alrighty, he's a real tool.") Anyhow...what God said to me was that I have no right to question what God asks me to do or who He asks me to reach out to in love. He just asks me to stop being a tool and be an instrument in helping others reach their potential/purpose. So I am attempting to do that. I'll still take your prayers though.

Sorry for the long, serious posts. I hope to get my sense of humour back very soon.

Blah

2006-06-27T11:18:00.000-04:00

Today I don't feel like celebrating...I feel like a steaming heap of crap.

Last night at Bible study we talked a bit about confessing things to each other as a way of emptying ourselves out to allow the Holy Spirit to move in. Sometimes there are things you can confess to a group, and sometimes there are things that are just between you and someone else that you have to deal with on your own. I am dealing with two of those "on your own" situations right now and quite frankly, it is sucking the life out of me. I have "given them to God" and am trusting Him for the outcomes. (In other words, I am giving Him permission to do what He needs to do in and through me for these situations to be resolved.) What I believe He is asking me to do is about the equivalent of being pelted with large stones or bobbing up and down in the ocean for a day and a half (It's not easy being a Christian, but it's worth it!). Thanks, Kirk, for what you said about being used by God making it all worthwhile. Knowing that in the end, the crap we're feeling will bring about something worthwhile (if we are obedient) does make things a lot more bearable.

Anyhow, I guess what I am saying is I could use your prayers, especially for me to approach these situations in the way I'm supposed to (What Would Jesus Do?) and to allow God to use me for His purpose.

Thanks, guys. Love ya.

In Between

2006-06-22T20:36:00.000-04:00

Well, we are in between one of the best holidays of the year and potentially the worst holiday I have ever heard of...

Yesterday was officially the first day of SUMMER!!! Yay! I love summer, every bit of it. (At least summer the way it is supposed to be, not foggy Seal Cove summer.) The only thing that could make summer any better would be if Christmas were in July. I can think of almost nothing better than driving down the road, your hair blowing around in the wind, the hot sun shining on your face and the music turned up as loud as it will go without blowing your speakers. Having the summer off is probably one of the best parts about being a teacher (that and humiliating young boys in library class)...

Today was Take Your Dog to Work Day. I have no dog. Oh wait, I do have a dog. Too bad it wasn't Take Your Dog to the SPCA Day. Now there's a holiday I could actually enjoy.

Tomorrow is National Pink Day. That is the most disgusting excuse for a holiday I have ever heard. Pink isn't even a real colour. It's not bright or bold enough to be red, and not clean enough to be white. And who said that just because you are a female you have to like pink? That is insane. People honestly try to make me feel guilty for not dressing my daughter in pink all the time. She wasn't even out of the womb before my mother was trying to pressure me into buying her a little frilly pink dress. It's like, "Welcome to the world, little one, now CONFORM!" Whatever. My goal is to encourage my kids to be individuals and to the best of my ability prevent them from being molded by societal norms. And if someday Cohen comes home with something pink and frilly on, I'll probably still love her. Phillipians 4:13.

Eat an Oreo Day

2006-06-19T17:45:00.000-04:00

Oh oh oh oh oh
The white stuff.

Word of the day: syllogism
Definition: a logical scheme of a formal argument consisting of a major and minor premise and a conclusion which must logically be true if the premises are true. In other words, if A=B and B=C, then it stands to reason that A=C.

For example,
If Oreos now remind me of Weird Al, and Weird Al reminds me of Kirk Perry, it stands to reason that Oreos would remind me of Kirk Perry.

FYI
Weird Al has not so recently released a new album called POODLE Hat. Now there's a syllogism for you.

Happy munching!

Eat Your Vegetables Day

2006-06-17T07:16:00.000-04:00

Well, already I have accomplished one of my carefree goals for the summer... building a sand castle (see Thursday's post). Actually, this picture is an example of how things aren't always as they seem. I commissioned Tammy Brown to take pictures of the kids and I for Roger for Father's Day...not an easy task. Like try to photograph fleas on speed. She did very well and had so much more patience with them than I do when I'm trying to take their pictures. But for one moment in time, they sat relatively still and made me look like a good mother, playing lovingly with her precious children. In reality, I had just wiped a huge snot trail off Saul's face and growled at Cohen for whining about going home. Just one example of how still photography can trump video. Thanks, Tam, you're awesome!

Now, that's more like it!

Go Fly a Kite Day

2006-06-15T16:43:00.000-04:00

Since no one had a convincing argument about why I should not love Jack Black, I have decided to move on.

Today is Go Fly a Kite Day, which could be taken in many ways. Leave me alone. Buzz off. Go pound salt. Get out of my face. Go play in traffic.

Actually, when I think about flying a kite, I think of childhood and FREEDOM. Flying a kite is one of those kid things that you do because you have nothing better or more pressing to do than stand there and harness the power of the wind. That is freedom in its truest form. I think that I will make it my goal for the summer to take time out from the everyday craziness that is my life and be free. Of course, I'm anal, so I'll have to have a list of freeing activities to check off. Anyone care to join me?

flying a kite
building a sand castle
catching fireflies
roasting marshmallows
playing hide & seek
having a lupin fight
rolling down a hill
sleeping outside in a clothesline tent
squirt gun fight!
having a picnic

...and somewhere in there I have to learn to dance.

Mary Kate & Ashley's Birthday

2006-06-13T14:26:00.000-04:00

Sooo....Mary Kate & Ashley have survived anorexia and made it to the ripe old age of 20. I remember when they were toddlers on Full House...good times...Actually, I really didn't like that show so much. I liked Uncle Jesse (John Stamos) a lot, even with a mullet, so I guess that's why I watched it...although he'll always be Blackie (General Hospital) to me.

Speaking of Black...I have to take a stand once and for all and defend my undying love and affection for Jack Black. What is not to love? He loves kids, he has a wicked sense of humour, he's built like a teddy bear and he doesn't judge women based on appearances. Some of you should try to be a little less shallow and more like my Jack. So he's not George Clooney. Do you really want to date a man that's prettier than you? I like real men. Jack Black is a real man. And though I have not yet seen Nacho Libre, I think that he is very courageous to take on a role that involves turquoise spandex and a cape. How many of you can say the same (I mean, other than Kirk, who does it for free)? I have yet to hear one good argument why Jack Black is NOT hot. A real argument. (BTW: "Yurr...Jack Black is gay." is not a real argument.) So bring it on...I've had two positive, life-speaking posts and I'm ready to disagree with someone...anyone...

National Hug Holiday

2006-06-11T21:45:00.000-04:00

Our God is an awesome God

He reigns from heaven above

With wisdom, power and love

Our God is an awesome God.

Church has been awesome lately--God really is truly here. I felt the same thing as Kirk even before I even walked in to church tonight...there was this overwhelming sense of anticipation in the air. People are starting to come together saying "Okay, God, what have you got for us today? Bring it on!" At the risk of sounding repetitive...it is awesome. Not just wow awesome, but stop in awe awesome. People are responding and loving and speaking life all over the place. They can't beat us, so they might as well join us. THIS is the kingdom of God. The kingdom He gave us the keys to. We have been chosen for this time and this place. Awesome. AWEsome.

And if that doesn't give you reason to hug somebody...

Best Friend Day

2006-06-09T17:00:00.000-04:00

My best friend's name is Georgette (yeah, she hates it, too). We have been friends since seventh grade...almost 20 years. She is my best friend for many reasons, but mainly because she's one of the only people I can count on to be 100% honest with me (whether I like it or not) and because she cracks me up like no one else I know. Unfortunately, she lives in on the mainland (in Pennfield) and I don't get to see her much. And our lives being what they are, we rarely even talk on the phone or msn. But I know that if I need her, she's there. We just pick up exactly where we left off. And no matter how many other friends come in and out of our lives, we will always be "best friends".

I have never had many friends. I don't know why, I'm just socially retarded, I guess. But I have to say, one of the best things about going to Alabama was the friends I made both down there and since we've come home. And while it's great to have one best friend, it's awesome to be included in such a diverse group of friends. For the first time, I actually feel like I belong. (Except, of course, for the night I had to eat an 18" pizza by myself. Then I just felt depressed and lonely, my heart aching as the tears mingled with the steaming mozzarella....) I'm just realizing that I have spent most of my life thinking that I didn't measure up and wasn't cool enough. It didn't really bother me that much, but it sure feels great to part of something. I am also realizing that most of the people that I think are popular/cool are just as insecure as I am. And that in itself is very liberating. It may not be long before I feel free to dance, because I know the rest of you will be making fools of yourselves right along with me. So, thanks. I may or may not love you guys very much.

Vacuum Cleaner Birthday

2006-06-08T10:54:00.000-04:00

Today the Vacuum Cleaner is 137 years old.

In honour of the vacuum cleaner, here is my ode to things that suck. Things that, one might say, are SUCKTASTIC.

Vampires
Anything pink
Cutsey couples (2-pointer)
Ulcers
Unending Rainy/Foggy Days
Morning People

Colds
Laundry
Extraction of Blood
Animal Hair
Nappus Interuptus
Eggplants
Root Canals

Now, in an effort to speak life...

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favourite things

Cream coloured ponies and crisp apple strudel
Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favourite things

Girls in white dresses and blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver white winters that melt into spring
These are a few of my favourite things

When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad.

If only I had a nice dress and a field full of wildflowers to cavort through.......tralala.......

Couple Appreciation Day

2006-06-06T19:08:00.000-04:00

Well, today is the day to express apprecation for that dynamic duo better known as The Couple. The day to tell them how much you appreciate them demonstrating their fondness for one another in public, for not being ashamed to stare longingly into each other's eyes for unprecedented amounts of time all the while blocking out the other twenty people around them. The way they refer to each other as "babe", or "hon" or "shmiscuit". The way they can't spend more than 5 minutes without each other, and when they're not with them, the way they constantly call, text or msn them. It's also the day to tell them how much you appreciate hearing about how cute their significant other's ears are or the sweet way they drool when they sleep.

I think that a fabulous way to honour those couples around you is to document their undying love for one another on video. Then, in two weeks, when the love is gone and they really get to know one another, you can insist upon replaying the tender moments back to them. Every puppy-eyed stare, every cheesy comment, every drippy second of their fairy tale romance. Some may say this would be like rubbing salt in a wound. I, on the other hand, believe that salt has restorative qualities. Rub-a-dub-dub, suck it up.

PS
I find it interesting how holidays are grouped together. For instance, not only is today Couple Appreciation Day, it is also National Yo-Yo Day and the anniversary of D-Day. This may or may not be a coincidence.

National Teacher Attitude Day

2006-06-05T12:45:00.000-04:00

Today is both National Teacher Day and National Attitude Day. How interesting that both should fall on the same day.

I have tried to write a post twice today already and both times I failed. I think it was because I was speaking death about myself and my sucktastic (my new favourite word, thanks Yurr) teaching abilities. When it comes to my job, I feel like a failure about 98.3% of the time. It does have its perks...I love the kids. I have realized this weekend that my self esteem is pretty low. There are very few things that I do that I actually think "Yeah, I rock at this!" I seriously need prayer in this area.

Lodebar sucks. It's estradically sucktastic.

One question. If I always have to speak life into everyone and everything, can I still be sarcastic? Do I seriously have to give up the one thing that I excel in?

Cheese Day

2006-06-04T14:17:00.000-04:00

Cream cheese. Say "cheese!". That's cheesy. Cheese and crackers. Richard Cheese. Mac & Cheese. Do you want some cheese with that whine? Cheez Whiz. I'm so cheesed off!!! Cheesies. Toe cheese. Cheese strings. Squeeze Cheese. The moon is made of Swiss cheese. Cheeseburger. CheeseBurglar. Cheesecloth. Cheesecake.

Au gratin. Au revoir.

Oops

2006-06-03T08:07:00.000-04:00

The holidays I posted for June 2 were actually for June 3 if anyone cares. No one? Okay, I'm good.

I have added links to all my favourite blogs to make up for my blunder. Cheerio.

Repeat Day

2006-06-02T11:14:00.000-04:00

Today is both Repeat Day and National Itch Day (a good day to make something from scratch!). In honour of both, here is a list of ways you can annoy almost anyone:

Pretend to be one of the Bush family. Doesn't matter which.
Have an uncontrollable lusting for someone else every five minutes.
Pretend to be from different ethnic backgrounds every hour, and when people ask you about it, answer like a hillbilly would.
Act like a hillbilly. Period.
Improvise Italian operas.
Gossip about someone to their face.
Answer every question with a question.
Repeat yourself constantly.
Act like a member of the opposite sex.
Repeat yourself constantly.
Act like Mr. Flanders from The Simpsons.
Repeat yourself constantly.
Change what you repeat every now and then.
Use homonyms in your e-male that the spell cheque would knot sea as miss steaks.
Change what you repeat every now and then.
Talk to someone while looking at somebody else.
Employ in your casual banter extensive vocabulary that will befuddle thy contemporaries. (Sorry, PP.)
Change what you repeat every now and then.
One word: Caffeine.
Another word or two: Caffeine and Sugar.
stringwhateveryousayintoonelongwordsoitshardto makeoutwhatyou'resaying.
Using non-existent words like George Bush would.
Change what you repeat again.
Speak in rapid Spanish.
Pretend not to know about the rule of personal space.
When in someone's personal space, pretend to have a heavy nose cold causing you to breathe heavily through your mouth. Sneeze occasionally.
Change what you repeat again.
You are better than everybody else. Let them know so.
Rudely correct everybody's grammar. (Sorry, Scott and everyone else.)
Don't proper grammar use while you are correcting them.
Groom yourself while standing backwards (towards everybody) in an elevator.
Change what you repeat again.
Pretend your name is Cletus-Atkins-Wheatherby-Percival-Smith, and don't answer to anything else.
Call everybody you know Bob or Georgia. Bob for girls, Georgia for boys.
Fine people for stupid things, like being too popular, or having to many teeth.
Change what you repeat again.
For those who wish to annoy, riddles is that in which you should speak.
Lick your lips constantly, acting as if doing so is pleasurable.
Become severely narcoleptic in the middle of a conversazzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Change what you repeat again.
You ARE the lord of the dance. Never forget that.
Speak in Gaelic.
Blink rapidly and constantly.
Scratch yourself constantly. I am not saying where.
Strut.
Start repeating what you say as soon as you say it.
Start repeating what you say as soon as you say it.
Become "The Masked Wedgie Giver."
Have this list printed on a T-shirt and write above it "Check list for Today." Don't let anybody forget that you have it on.

Bye.

Double Donut Dare Day

2006-06-01T05:37:00.000-04:00

Happy Birthday today to Oscar the Grouch and Superman! I have to admit, if I could be any Sesame Street character, it would have to be Oscar the Grouch. I like how he always says what is on his mind. He doesn't worry about offending people. He's grumpy, but he's honest. You have to respect that in a person...I mean Muppet.

Today is also Donut Day and Dare Day. I can no longer eat donuts with a clear conscience since beginning Weight Watchers. But that's okay. I've learned that I do have willpower. (Though I think my willpower has more to do with the fact that we do not have a Tim's on the island than any real control over my appetite for donuts.) I like the idea of Dare Day, but for other people. My self-esteem and bravery levels are too low to take dares. I worry too much about getting hurt or dirty. I need to be more spontaneous. I'd like to tell you more, but it is 6:43 am and I take my shower every morning at 6:45 am and if I don't hurry and get with my schedule, my small, small world will implode...Where is Superman when you really need him?!?

Make My Day Day

2006-05-31T06:03:00.000-04:00

Apparently, today is Clint Eastwood's birthday. And while I am not a big fan of Clint's, and really haven't watched many of his movies (except Bridges of Madison County, and I don't think that counts), I think Make My Day Day is a holiday worthy of celebration.

I have this boy in my class whom I love like my own. I would take him home in a minute. And I know he loves me, too. I can just see it on his face whenever he tells me about the frog he caught last night (or slug, or spider, he loves all things buggy). I have taught him to read and the joy on his face when he reads aloud to me is one of the greatest gifts ever. He makes my day a lot. Yesterday, he brought me a styrofoam cup filled with beautiful apple blossoms. For my birthday, he was the only one of my students that made me a card and brought me a present -- a baby sculpin skeleton. I know how much he loves that kind of stuff, and that he would part with his "specimen" was a witness to how much he thinks of me. You all know what I'm talking about. Someone has done something for you to make at least one of your days somewhere along the line. Today I am being slightly serious (sorry, Scottie). Think about a time when someone did something incredibly thoughtful for you and how that made you feel. And then go out and make someone else feel that way.

Love you, guys!

PS
Regularly scheduled sarcasm will return after this message.

Cherry Dessert Day/Masking Tape's Birthday

2006-05-27T12:22:00.000-04:00

I didn't post yesterday because I had to take Cohen to the doctor in Saint John. She has had a high fever off and on for the past few weeks and my father (the nurse) suggested I have it checked out. So I did. (Although after the tune in the bucket comment, I should probably never listen to anything he says.) It was great fun. She had to have blood taken for the first time. I tried to make it fun, even though I would rather wash dishes than have my own blood taken. I told her it would be really cool to watch the blood squirt up into the little tube. And what fun it was! I could tell she was enjoying herself by the way she screamed uncontrollably. And then there was the urine sample, which is hard enough to get for yourself, let alone for someone who refuses to pee while you watch, much less while you hold a cup for them. So...I bribed her with Toys R Us (where she chose the biggest, PINKEST doll she could find as a reward for her bravery/torture). Unless you have obtained a urine sample from a stubborn 3-year old through better methods, you are not allowed to judge me. Anyhow, the results won't be in until Monday, and of course, she no longer has the fever.

So yesterday was Cherry Dessert Day. Cherry Desserts are my all-time favourite, especially if they also contain chocolate. Cherry cheesecake, cherry pie, chocolate cherry crumble, yummy...

And today is the 76th birthday of the Masking Tape patent. Yay. It is also National Grape Popsicle Day. So, on this day, I can say to you without a shred of guilt...SUCK IT UP! And don't get any on your clothes...sorry, mommy moment. Hazard of the job.

International Sing-Out Day

2006-05-25T13:17:00.000-04:00

I have a confession to make. I cannot sing. (This will come as no surprise to anyone who has shared a hymnal with me in church or been a passenger in my vehicle.) It is a very sad story, actually. One day, when I was a young girl, full of innocence and bliss, I was singing at the supper table. All of a sudden, my own father uttered a comment that continues to shatter my spirit to this day:
"Be quiet! You can't carry a tune in a bucket!"
It was a turning point in my life; the point, one might say, where I left childhood behind and entered the cruel, cruel realm of reality. So, though inside my soul sings like a canary, I will not be participating in today's festivities. Perhaps someday, I'll be free to sing. But for today, it is just too painful.

National Taffy Day

2006-05-23T16:44:00.000-04:00

Well, I discovered some interesting trivia today in light of the fact that I have nothing to say about taffy. Did you know that European countries celebrate what is known as Name Day? Me neither. Apparently first names are appointed for each day of the year and in some countries, a person's Name Day is more celebrated than their birthday. Calendars typically come with the names printed on them so you know that July 28, for example, is Kimberlee Day. So quit your whining, PP, and write these on your calendar:

January 22, Cassidy Day
November 28, Scott Day
December 26, Stephanie Day
February 8, Curtis Day
October 11, Kirk Day

I have only listed the names of those people who actually comment on my blog. It's all about you.

Visit www.mynameday.com to find out more.

Toothpaste Tube Birthday

2006-05-22T15:22:00.000-04:00

Today's holidays leave me with many questions: What came first, the toothpaste or the tube? And why does it always rain on Victoria's birthday? What did she do to deserve this? Did she squeeze the tube from the middle? How do they get that minty fresh paste inside a toothpaste tube? And why mint? If parsley is a natural breath freshener, why don't they make parsley toothpaste? What did people do before toothpaste? Do we really care?

Circus Day

2006-05-19T18:16:00.001-04:00

122 years ago today the Ringling Brothers opened their first circus. I have only been to the circus once. I'm not really sure it was a circus. But there were peanuts and an elephant and elephant poop. I didn't say it was a good story.

No Dirty Dishes Day

2006-05-18T13:22:00.000-04:00

I like this holiday. I hate doing dishes. And by hate, I mean love less than just about everything. By hate, I mean I want to avoid. I will do anything to avoid doing dishes. I would ride a roller coaster to avoid doing dishes. I would watch videos of men in Spandex dancing to Streamline to avoid doing dishes. I would watch hockey to avoid doing dishes. I would read a serious blog to avoid doing dishes. You get the picture. Every day should be today. Open the window, get out the pellet gun and let the games begin.

Pack Rat Day

2006-05-17T13:56:00.000-04:00

I have to admit, I am a pack rat. I have come from a long line of pack rats. It is genetic, I cannot help it. I am working toward recovery, however. The flood in my basement last fall relieved me of some of my childhood junk. Having children has also helped. Do I really want/need every scrap of paper that my children have scribbled on? Will I be able to sell them someday on E-Bay, become a millionaire and move to a mansion high on a hill overlooking the ocean, a mansion Scott Ingalls would give up his [dirty sexy] truck for? Doubtful. I have a new motto when it comes to cleaning up the clutter. Do I want the people cleaning out my house after I die to find this? (FYI/TMI: I came up with this motto while cleaning out my underwear drawer recently.) It applies to many things...torn bloomers, old love letters, salad dressing from 2001. Despite all this, I still have no motto strong enough to make me part with my before-braces dental impressions. Sometimes breaking up is just too hard to do.

PS. No, I do not keep salad dressing (of any vintage) in my underwear drawer.

National Curtis Day

2006-05-16T10:51:00.000-04:00

Today is Curtis' 20th birthday, and I am officially declaring today be the 1st National Curtis Day in honour of Curtis and his birthday (in case that was not clear). I apologize for not knowing in what nation National Curtis Day is to be celebrated. Pick one and go with it. Nambia seems to be popular these days.
If you choose to celebrate National Curtis Day, you must also choose to indulge in the official National Curtis Day customs, which include the official National Curtis Day meal. This meal is the melding of several (a plethora, really) of other holidays also celebrated on May 16, otherwise known as National Curtis Day. They are: International Pickle Day and the birthdays of Spam, Spaghetti-O's and Root Beer. So sit back, pour yourself a frosty mug of root beer and enjoy two of the world's finest canned goods with a dilly pickle (or a juicy gherkin, the choice is yours). Oh, yeah, today is also Wear Purple for Peace Day, so don't forget to climb into your coziest purple lounge suit before you sit down. And before the day is through, be sure to drop by Curtis' blog and wish him a Happy Birthday (www.crazycurtrain.blogspot.com) .

Days Yurr has not commented on my blog...5.

National Chocolate Chip Day

2006-05-15T12:10:00.000-04:00

Today's holiday is a mix of two of my favourite things: useless trivia and chocolate...no, even better, useless trivia about chocolate. So, here's the thing. In the 1930s there was this chick named Ruth Wakefield who owned an inn in Massachusetts. And Ruth loved to bake cookies for her guests every day. One day, she committed the ultimate baking sin...she didn't check her cupboard to find out if she had all of the ingredients. So, instead of using her usual baking chocolate, she was forced to break apart a chocolate bar into her dough. Ruth thought that the chocolate would melt and mix with the dough during the cooking process (either she was a bit on the slow side or had a magical oven). Well, guess what? The chocolate bits did not melt and mix, but did get a bit softer. Ruth served the cookies anyway and her guests were estradic! Her cookies were so popular, she made a deal with Nestle...They would carry her recipe on the back wrapper of their semi-sweet chocolate bar. And ol' Ruth was thinking...instead of asking for money, she would in turn be given a lifetime supply of chocolate. I mean, it was the Depression, what would she do with a lot of money? But a tonne of chocolate...imagine the possibilities!!!
Personally, I think that this holiday has come just in time for my buddy, Cassidy, who seems to be hopeless at baking cookies. Maybe she just needs a little help from Ruth (whose original recipe can be found at www.verybestbaking.com/recipes/detail.aspx?ID=18476). You never know, Cass, it may be your recipe on the back of a wrapper someday.

National Dance Like a Chicken Day

2006-05-14T18:52:00.000-04:00

So...big day today...besides being Mother's Day, it is also Saul's 2nd birthday. Most days I feel like a relatively sucky mother, especially where Saul is concerned. When Cohen was a baby, I had oodles of patience, with baby No. 2, not so much. And though sometimes I am indeed lacking in my motherly areas, the majority of the time I think it's Satan kicking me where it hurts most. So even when I mess up, I know God has promised me victory if I just keep trusting Him and picking myself up out of the dust. When I fall short, He never does. As much as I love my kids, it's amazing to know that He loves them more and has a perfect plan for their lives.
However, if your ;) not a mother, and especially if you're not Saul's mother, don't despair, there are still a plethora of ways you can celebrate today. Let me tell you how!
Today is also:

the birthday of both George Lucas (Star Wars) and Marshmellow Fluff
Crazy Day (aka Mother's Day?!?)
and last, but certainly not least, National Dance Like a Chicken Day. If you are unfamiliar with the Chicken Dance, you may also be unfamiliar with things like chickens, dancing, or breathing. But if you are in that small, small minority, you can get complete instructions, along with a brilliant rendition of the dance track at www.whydidthechickencrosstheroad.com/the-chicken-dance.htm. Enjoy.

PS. This may or may not have taken me longer than 8 seconds to type (I am a pretty speedy typist, eh PP?). You may now comment.

I Just Called to Say I Love You Day

2006-05-13T16:17:00.000-04:00

So I must admit, I have called no one. To say anything, much less I love you. However, I am finding that I am loving far more people now than I have in a long time. And that could be because I am feeling more loved by people than I have in a long time. And for that, I will say, thank you very much and I love you, too. You know who you are.
There is a poster that hangs in my office/junk room that is titled Ways to Love A Child. And since we are all children in big people bodies, I thought I'd share some ways to spread the love around (in case you needed inspiration):
Give your presence Laugh, dance and sing together Listen from a heart space Encourage Understand Allow them to love themselves Ask their opinions Learn from them Say yes as often as possible Say no when necessary Honour their no's Apologize Touch gently Build lots of blanket forts Open up Fly kites together Lighten up Believe in possibilities Read books out loud Create a circle of quiet Teach feelings Share your dreams Walk in the rain Celebrate mistakes Admit yours Frame their artwork Stay up late together Eliminate comparison Delight in silliness Handle with care Protect them Cherish their innocence Giggle Speak kindly Go swimming Splash Let them help Let them cry Don't hide your tears Brag about them Answer their questions Let them go when it's time Let them come back Show compassion Bend down to talk to little children Smile even when you're tired Surprise with a special lunch Don't judge their friends Give them enough room to make decisions Love all that they do Honour their differences Respect them Remember they have not been on the earth long.
Until tomorrow.

I Got Nothin'

2006-05-12T17:46:00.000-04:00

Well, I think I may have finally figured this out. But I really have nothing to say. This soggy weather has turned my brain into papier mache.

Limerick Day

2006-05-12T17:34:00.000-04:00

Well, if you know anything about me at all, you will know that I am insanely anal. Like bordering Martha Stewart anal. It is a curse and a blessing all rolled into one. I like things to fit into categories. Everything must have its place. I count things. I am not spontaneous nor random. I am aware of minute details that no other mentally stable human being would notice.
Anyhow, I said all that to say this: My blog needed a theme. Because I can't deal with not knowing if I will have something to say on June 13th or not. I am a spaz. So...my theme is Every Day Is a Holiday. And today is Limerick Day. So in honor of that, here's my poem:

There once was a young man named Wyatt

Whose voice was exceedingly quiet

And then one day,

It faded away...

Feel free to submit your own. Happy rhyming.