Repeat Day

Today is both Repeat Day and National Itch Day (a good day to make something from scratch!). In honour of both, here is a list of ways you can annoy almost anyone:

• Pretend to be one of the Bush family. Doesn't matter which.
• Have an uncontrollable lusting for someone else every five minutes.
• Pretend to be from different ethnic backgrounds every hour, and when people ask you about it, answer like a hillbilly would.
• Act like a hillbilly. Period.
• Improvise Italian operas.
• Gossip about someone to their face.
• Answer every question with a question.
• Repeat yourself constantly.
• Act like a member of the opposite sex.
• Repeat yourself constantly.
• Act like Mr. Flanders from The Simpsons.
• Repeat yourself constantly.
• Change what you repeat every now and then.
• Use homonyms in your e-male that the spell cheque would knot sea as miss steaks.
• Change what you repeat every now and then.
• Talk to someone while looking at somebody else.
• Employ in your casual banter extensive vocabulary that will befuddle thy contemporaries. (Sorry, PP.)
• Change what you repeat every now and then.
• One word: Caffeine.
• Another word or two: Caffeine and Sugar.
• stringwhateveryousayintoonelongwordsoitshardto makeoutwhatyou'resaying.
• Using non-existent words like George Bush would.
• Change what you repeat again.
• Speak in rapid Spanish.
• Pretend not to know about the rule of personal space.
• When in someone's personal space, pretend to have a heavy nose cold causing you to breathe heavily through your mouth. Sneeze occasionally.
• Change what you repeat again.
• You are better than everybody else. Let them know so.
• Rudely correct everybody's grammar. (Sorry, Scott and everyone else.)
• Don't proper grammar use while you are correcting them.
• Groom yourself while standing backwards (towards everybody) in an elevator.
• Change what you repeat again.
• Pretend your name is Cletus-Atkins-Wheatherby-Percival-Smith, and don't answer to anything else.
• Call everybody you know Bob or Georgia. Bob for girls, Georgia for boys.
• Fine people for stupid things, like being too popular, or having to many teeth.
• Change what you repeat again.
• For those who wish to annoy, riddles is that in which you should speak.
• Lick your lips constantly, acting as if doing so is pleasurable.
• Become severely narcoleptic in the middle of a conversazzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
• Change what you repeat again.
• You ARE the lord of the dance. Never forget that.
• Speak in Gaelic.
• Blink rapidly and constantly.
• Scratch yourself constantly. I am not saying where.
• Strut.
• Start repeating what you say as soon as you say it.
• Start repeating what you say as soon as you say it.
• Become "The Masked Wedgie Giver."
• Have this list printed on a T-shirt and write above it "Check list for Today." Don't let anybody forget that you have it on.

Bye.

Bye.