Saturday, September 30, 2006

A Rolling Stone Gathers No...Snot!?!

So I go to pick up my children at my mother's after work on Thursday. Cohen is playing on the lawn, but Saul is nowhere to be found. And why is that, you may be wondering. Well, that is because he woke up from his nap crying, "There's a rock in my nose, Grampie!" And indeed, there was. Stuck up there pretty good, too. So Grampie, being a nurse, whips out his mini forceps and makes an attempt at extraction. A valiant but vain attempt after which he calls Roger and asks him to meet them at the hospital with Saul's medicare card. Which is where they were when I arrived at mom's.

Normally, this is were the mildy-interesting-but-not-too-unual-for-a-two-and-a-half-year-old-boy story would end. However, this story is not normal. For it seems, when the doctor extracted the large-for-a-nose stone from Saul's nostril, the tale took an interesting twist. [Picture this in slow motion, perhaps with Chevy Chase as the father.] The stone comes out, and with a flick of the doctor's wrist, flys up in the air, does a somersault, and plunges into the open, screaming mouth of my son, who promptly stops crying and swallows it. True story.

And it would have been funny enough had it ended there. But it did not. No, no, the saga continued at home where Saul, standing in the middle of the living room, watching Dora, begins to sneeze. Achoo! Plink. Achoo! Plink. Yes, you guessed it, more rocks. So now, the burning question is: Are there any more? Will they come out on their own or is Saul Abali destined to live the rest of his life with literal rocks in his head? I thought a logical solution would be to make him sneeze again. And how better to make someone sneeze than by having them snort pepper up their nose. Roger disagreed and said this was only an old wives' tale. My father (the nurse) upon consultation, agreed with my pepper plan. Roger disagreed once more and said the pepper would burn Saul's nose. (Because having 3 or more rocks lodged in your nostril doesn't cause any discomfort whatsoever.) So, I sacrificed my own well-being (what won't a mother do for her young) and snuffed some pepper up my own nose before trying it out on Saul. The result: I sneezed for the rest of the evening and Saul went happily to bed that night without sneezing at all and with whatever more he had shoved into his nasal cavity still there.

And the moral of the story is: What goes in, must come out...although not always from the same place.

18 Comments:

At October 01, 2006 1:07 p.m., Blogger Em Bass said...

Stephanie, that was the funniest thing I have ever read in my life. I read it and i began laughing out loud, and then my family asked why I was laughing so I just read your story to Mom, Lindz, Steph, Dad, and Darrin,lol. We laughed so hard-thanks:)

 
At October 01, 2006 1:31 p.m., Blogger Kirk said...

Just so you know as a pepper snorter myself it does make me sneeze every time I snort it but it does burn a bit.

 
At October 01, 2006 4:32 p.m., Anonymous Anonymous said...

Glad you enjoyed it, Em. And to think, Tassy wasn't even involved!

 
At October 01, 2006 5:39 p.m., Blogger Scottie said...

yeah, that story was funnier the second time around... actually the addition of you sniffing the salt will stick with me for a while... classic...

hope you feel better soon...

 
At October 01, 2006 8:55 p.m., Anonymous Anonymous said...

WOW!! The real Steph is back! The funny posts are back AND...it was relatively close to the lsat one! yay!! I laughed and was happy! This is the kind of stuff I've waited for all month! And now here it is a week before I come home, your lucky...I was gonna yell at ya in person for not making my life brighter with your halarious stories..but now...no worries. I don't have to do that anymore! haha See you all on the weekend hopefully

 
At October 01, 2006 8:56 p.m., Blogger Cassidy said...

when you told me on the phone, it was masterful. It really did sound like something that would have happened to me...Oh steph. Go out again soon please because i miss them, and my adventures with them.

 
At October 02, 2006 11:39 a.m., Blogger raema said...

That was absolutely hilarious. I laughed so hard I cried. Thanks I needed that.

 
At October 04, 2006 9:47 a.m., Blogger Scottie said...

i am an idiot with a capital G... sniffing salt??? where did that come from???

 
At October 04, 2006 1:25 p.m., Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe from sniffing gas...Snap!

 
At October 05, 2006 1:42 p.m., Blogger Scottie said...

not funny

 
At October 05, 2006 1:42 p.m., Blogger Scottie said...

not funny

 
At October 05, 2006 5:23 p.m., Anonymous Anonymous said...

O is the B of S.

 
At October 08, 2006 11:22 p.m., Anonymous Anonymous said...

Stephanie starts with S. Isn't it ironic, don't you think?

 
At October 09, 2006 2:33 p.m., Blogger Scottie said...

???

 
At October 11, 2006 10:04 a.m., Blogger Scottie said...

anywho, time for a new post wouldn't you say?

 
At October 12, 2006 3:13 p.m., Blogger Scottie said...

slogger...

truth in love...

 
At October 12, 2006 3:55 p.m., Blogger Kim said...

I will only comment because I can! I concur a new post would be great!

 
At October 13, 2006 9:11 a.m., Blogger Scottie said...

tassy babysitting is always good for another riveting post...

 

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