Hump Day

Well, today marks the halfway mark of 2006. I'm sitting here trying to think of what I have accomplished so far this year. Instead, what is running through my mind is all the things I still haven't done. Apparently I'm a "the glass is half empty" kind of person...which I am sure is a total shock and surprise to everyone who knows me.

This week is also "Take Charge of Change Week". I really need to change my attitude towards life. I am soooo negative. I like to think of myself as honest, though. It doesn't sound as horrible and it makes me feel better. The truth of the matter is, however, I am just negative and nasty most of the time.

I could blame it on my genes...my whole family (both sides) tend to look for the "but" in every situation. What a beautiful sunny day we had yesterday, BUT it rained for a week before that and it's not giving much better for the week ahead. I get to have two months off for summer vacation, BUT I don't really because I have three rooms I want to clean out, a kitchen to wallpaper and no time to do it because I have two small children.

When I went to Alabama, I thought I would come back and be completely grateful for every little thing I had. I was wrong. It frightens me to think that if I don't change my heart and start to be more appreciative for what God has given me, He is going to start taking things away. At the risk of being negative, I am sucktastic at speaking life.

In Phillipians 4:8, Paul tells the church that they are to think on, weigh, take account of and fix their minds on whatever is true, worthy of reverence, honourable, appropriate, just, pure, lovely and loveable, kind and pleasant and compassionate and anything that is virtuous, excellent and worthy of praise.

Or in the negative (sorry, I'm not quite there yet), don't let your mind be ruled by lies, disrespect, things that are not worthy of praise & honour, are inappropriate, unfair, unclean, unlovely and unloveable, unkind, unpleasant, unfeeling and anything that is unrighteous, less than exceptional and undeserving of our admiration as followers of Christ. Easier said than done. Change is hard because it involves things that don't come easily to us in the flesh...faith, surrender of control, patience. Fruits of the Spirit.

...which presents an interesting Catch 22. In order to be filled with the Spirit, we have to empty ourselves of the flesh. In order to empty ourselves of self, we need to be filled with the Holy Spirit. Now I'm more confused than ever.

GODSTOP: My husband. I don't appreciate him enough, but right now I am sitting in bed, watching Coronation Street (finally!), updating my blog, drinking coffee he made for me, while he is downstairs cooking breakfast for the kids and keeping them entertained. Men of Galilee, why do you stand here looking into the sky? (Acts 1:11) Sometimes it's right in front of our face.

If you have actually read this whole monologue and made it to the end...thanks. It seems I will be allowed to have my sense of humour back only after I work through some things. My apologies.